3 things chanel chanever should have made

there have been a lot of questionable inventions in the past - the snuggie/slanket, the swiss army gardening tool and the babymop come to mind:
but more recently, here are a few that have me scratching my head - and all from chanel, no less:

1) chanel union jack purse. who did the queen sleep with over at chanel to get this made? and what real purpose does having a perfectly good quilted purse swaddled with a british flag serve? i don't get it at all.
2) limited edition chanel bike (only 50 of them made). after hermes came out with their collector's bike ($3,500), chanel felt compelled to make one also, to the tune of $17,000 (and currently marked up to $28,000 by some retailers). what is the opposite of carbon fibre, because that's what it's probably made out of. i'm eagerly awaiting their line of cycling apparel, hoping that it will be derelict-chic a la oliver twist lest i risk looking ridiculous wearing spandex while riding this thing. and oh yes, buster keaton called, he wants his bike back.
3) the chanel ankle purse. available in many colors and yours to own for $1,350. will someone please invent the worlds smallest blackberry, iphone, moleskine, make up bag, sunglasses, camera and wallet to fit in there so i can get one? please?

winter song

perhaps it's the rare southern california rain that has put me in a winter state of mind, but this song makes me smile and fills me with hope for good things to come.  

the two little girls in the video are sara bareilles and ingrid michaelson (who sing this song), they are so cute i can't stand it!

full moon fantastic part 2

tonight the full moon is 15% bigger and 30% brighter than any other time of year because the moon is in perigee where it's the closest to the earth. breathtaking, isn't it? i love it.

who's the littlest?!

and the adorablest?

and the tiniest?

this tiny little thing is a pygmy goat, an achondroplastic dwarf whose genes are homozygous for being short and meaty. they aren't cuter than baby pandas, but as far as goats go, they are pretty cute. i wonder if they smell bad like other farm animals. and do could you walk them on a leash?

full moon fantastic

i have many favorite things.  more than anyone else i know, and definitely more than oprah.  but the moon is one of my most favorite things of all time.  i love them all - waxing gibbous, waning crescents, new moons, blue moons - but nothing is more beautiful than a perfectly full moon.  from the yellow-orange hue of a rising harvest moon to the crisp white of a full winter moon, full moons are simply breathtaking to me.  there's something about the moon that's so comforting; like a dependable old friend that's there day in and day out.  

here's a photograph from yesterday's full moon taken from outside my front door.  

and that same moon again, except this time taken by a camera through a proper telescope (and not by me).  too bad canon doesn't make a pocket-sized one of those.

ibangle - i want this!

this is the ibangle. it's a thin piece of aluminum with a multi-touch track pad, and all the functionality of a regular ipod. and so you don’t go banging round your precious player, a cushion inside the ring inflates to keep itself taut against your wrist. how cool is that!? sadly, it’s only a concept at this stage, but it doesn't stop me from wanting it!!

the banana bunker

"good design, great gifts - the museum of modern art offers cutting edge design from around the world that defies convention and exceeds expectations. make moma design store your unique gift alternative with designs that are both functional and beautiful"

so it's no surprise when you see items like this vase:

or a giclee of your own thumb print (which i happen to find pretty cool):or even this useless set of 6 happy spoons:

but no item "defies convention and exceeds expectations" quite like this one does - the banana bunker.

"conforming to the shape of a banana, this uniquely styled holder helps keep the fruit free from bruises and cuts while in transit in your lunch box or bag. this practical set is simply terrific for hiking, day trips, athletic events, school, at the beach and anywhere else you want to bring a tasty snack."

as far as living up to being "functional and beautiful" ... functional? yes, especially when you need to take your husband's penis to work, or when your husband's out of town. beautiful? no.

and might i mention that these are all sold on the home shopping network and that it was my boss who shared this with me. i don't know what she does in her own time, but i should probably reconsider the invite to a party she is throwing at her house next week...

new awesome website! - charles and marie

this might not be news to some, but it's new news to me, which means it is most certainly newsworthy. charles and marie is a hodgepodge of so many wonderful things, from gadgets galore to satisfy the most technologically savvy, to awesome but pretty useless accessories that you never knew you had to have.

i happened upon this site while in search of this - a pen clip that attaches to a moleskine, the world's most awesome notebook.

and look at these super cute hot pot feet! they look like they came out of wallace and gromit and that at any moment the pot might start walking away!

i love this site, you should too!
www.charlesandmarie.com

on the eve of the eve of eve's birthday

credit is more than due for the fantastic flowers that are now sitting on my desk. let's just enjoy them for a minute or two. this image is scratch n' sniff. try it.

fuzzy wuzzy wasn't a bear, fuzzy wuzzy was a sheep

some say that sheep aren't the smartest animal on the farm. some say that the only thing they're good for are fuzzy rugs, soft handbags and being a tasty beef alternative. some might even say that if one sheep hopped over a fence, another one would follow, and another, and so on, for no good reason except that's what the other guy just did. yes, they wander aimlessly, their existence so base and simplistic in nature, and like buffalo, they would probably jump off a cliff expecting to land safely on the other side of aforementioned fence, not recognizing imminent death.

but all that said, they are still one of my favorites, second only to the elephant (a story for another day). and no one can deny that hands down sheep make the cutest stuffed animals!

in celebration of these fuzzy little creatures, let's review some of history's most notable sheep:

the little lamb that mary had

shaun the sheep from wallace & gromitdolly the cloned sheep

lamb chop

another kind of lamb chop
chinese zodiac sheepthe serta counting sheep
fashion, accessories and footwear last but definitely not least
the tiny 2-inch tall lamb that lives on my desk with her friend the tiny calf

5 things

to smile about:

1) full moons in the fall

2) katy perry's lyrics

3) football season

4) pushing daisies

5) the first time the heater automatically turns on

to shake your head about:

1) a vp candidate who doesn't pronounce the "g" at the end of words like running, chasing, hoping, etc...

1a) people who verbal vomit their political views all over you

2) two football teams that already had one loss before october

3) our downward spiraling everything

4) people who come to work sick and spread their germs

5) 2008 is nearly over

to look forward to:

1) two birthdays

2) sweaters and scarfs

3) super hot soups and chowders

4) seat heaters

5) the first breath of really cold air filling your lungs

the olympics

day 2 of olympic competition, 16 hours into my olympics-watching, i've learned that the following sports are really boring (which means i just fast forward on tivo):

1) indoor volleyball

2) beach volleyball

3) crew

4) women's road cycling

5) women's basketball

6) badminton

7) fencing

the following sports are awesome and exciting:

1) track and field

2) swimming
3) diving

4) gymnastics (sort of)

5) mens basketball (sort of)

6) table tennis

and these sports are just wrong:

1) womens wrestling
2) womens weightlifting

3) softball

on a side note, FOOTBALL SEASON IS ALMOST HERE!!

my new pet

because i don't foresee theodore from alvin and the chipmunks becoming a real live talking pet any time soon, i've identified my new favorite i-want-this-for-a-pet: a baby giant panda!

look at how little and fuzzy they are!

i just hope they are easy to potty train, and that they aren't too smelly

this little one is so cute i can't stand it!

when bad hair happens to good cyclists

the tour de france ended today and spaniard carlos sastre of team csc saxo bank won. that's all fine and well, but i am so very disappointed and grossed out. why?

this is alejandro valverde of caisse d'epargne. he is the spanish national champion, an early favorite to win the whole thing, and one of the better looking professional cyclists. wouldn't you agree? never mind that he is a spaniard and is most likely very smarmy.

then he took of his sunglasses and his helmet and this is what he really looks like:

so gross!!

he has a white man jerry curl, except he has no hair left to jerry curl! does he not have any good friends or relatives that will tell him to just shave it all off?? perhaps i will send an anonymous letter...

upcoming concert schedule

7/15 coldplay - the forum
7/20 feist - hollywood bowl
7/27 john mayer - verizon amphitheater
8/3 me first and the gimme gimmes - HOB
8/19, 8/20 dave matthews band - staples
8/28 joshua radin - HOB
8/28 marc broussard - roxy
9/12 counting crows/maroon 5 - verizon amphitheater
9/17, 9/18 vampire weekend - wiltern
9/17 janet jackson - staples
10/3 dandy warhols - wiltern
10/11 sara barreilles - wiltern
11/6 madonna - dodger stadium
11/8 the who - nokia
12/2 celine dion - staples

broken bike, again.

about 6 miles into my weekly sunday ride, i got a flat tire!! my second one in the last three rides. some cyclists from cynergy cycles rode by and stopped to see if everything was okay. i should have said "NO!! I HATE MY BIKE!! FIX MY TIRE FOR ME PLEASE!!! but instead, i said, thanks, it's under control. it took almost 20 minutes to change it and it was finally fixed, but it didn't stop me from looking like this:

i should have known that this ride was not meant to be given the following:

a) ride was postponed from 6:30 am to 5:30pm

b) i almost got killed driving to brentwood

c) i almost got hit by a car door while riding down ocean ave.

so instead of continuing on to mdr, i went to pink berry and had a green tea with blueberries my-bike-sucks-and-i'm-really-traumatized snack.

the one good thing about today was that i was happy with my outfit! i should consider buying some castelli stock.

goodbye, vegetable pasta

last night i went to the farm in bh - one of my favorite it's-after-work-and-i'm-starving standbys. observe the following exchange:

waitress: "what i can i get you?"
me: "may i have the vegetable pasta?"
waitress: "absolutely! can i get you anything else?"
me: "nope. it's my favorite."

30 seconds later...

waitress: "i'm so sorry, we just changed menus and we don't have the vegetable pasta anymore"
me: "OH NO!! what am i going to do?! that's the reason why i came tonight!!"
waitress: "can i get you something else?"
me: "OH NO!!!!! ... i guess i'll have the sauteed penne instead. no parmesan."

booooooooooooooo!!!!!!! i didn't even get to have it one last time to say goodbye.

In memoriam: in happier and yummier days

6 things i love that are not real

1) my wii mii

2) smurfette 3) theodore
4) pucca!!

5) cartman

6) pc guy

i ate a bug (sort of)

what does this sound like?

"from the front, to the back row, let me know... AAACCCHCHHHHHHHHHH!!! ACCCHCHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! AAACCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

(cough, cough, spit, cough, cough, more spit)

if you guessed that that's the sound of me-trying-to-sing-a-few-bars-of-one-of-my-favorite-OAR-songs-while-taking
a-water-break-during-tennis-tonight-and-a-bug-flew-into-my-mouth-and-i
-choked-on-it-and-i-spit-it-out-and-watched-it-die, then give yourself a pat on the back because that is exactly what happened.

this is the second time a bug has flown into my mouth during vigorous exercise. the other time was on my bike traveling at supersonic speed (like 10 miles an hour).

:(

becoming an assassin

new set of skills that i have to perfect in order to become an assassin who kicks major ass like angelina's character fox in wanted:

1) shoot curved bullets

2) shoot bad guys while barely hanging out of the windshield of a speeding car

3) run, jump, and fight bad guys on the top of speeding trains

4) learn how to fight with knives

5) practice shooting the wings of flys

6) get some more tattoos

parrot not quail?

"for 77 years the valley quail has misrepresented california, making us look lazy, easily distracted, and desperate for worms. now, more than ever, we need a state bird we can believe in. not a bird that takes dust baths, but one that helps drivers make hands-free calls. now, more than ever, we need parrot. a new bird, for a new beginning."

hahahaha. i almost ran someone over driving to work this morning because i was distracted by these wildpostings. v. funny, but i think the parrot would be a horrible state bird. top 5 reasons why:

1. they are not actually very smart, they just copy what you say. we would just have birds flying around that say kah-li-FOR-ni-ya and i'll be baaaack and stuff like that.
2. lots of plumage = lots of feathers. the cost of having to clean up all those damn feathers would be better spent elsewhere, like, say, fixing all the damn potholes in LA?
3. a state bird that makes you think of pirates and saying ARRRRRGG, matey, is not good for california.
4. their first and fourth toes point backwards. that is not useful at all.
5. in a contest between state birds, the parrot would be more likely to be the color commentator than the winner of anything.

i propose that our state bird be something large and predatory. like, how about engineering something like ... a flying-panther-shark! also, on a side note - there are 7 states that have the cardinal as their state bird, and 6 states that are home to the western meadowlark. you would think that everyone would want a state bird that no one else had. i'm just saying.

things i need

1) new iphone! 2) pilates proformer

3) oakley polarized half jacket in jet black / black iridium (for cycling)4) clavinova digital grand piano

5) new personalized stationery